Lost in Space (TV Series)
The Sky Pirate (1966)
Bill Mumy: Will Robinson
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Zachary Smith : Now listen carefully. There's a very dangerous man on the hill with the boy. He's going to kill all of us unless you kill him first.
The Robot : The Prime Directive forbids taking human life.
Dr. Zachary Smith : The Directive is canceled. Now, get on with it!
The Robot : Then I will follow your orders.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : [Speaking to Will] Boy, you take a look and see if that there Smith feller is on his way back yet.
[Sees the Robot advancing]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Balls of fire! It's a man of tin.
[Robot fires energy blast at Tucker]
Will Robinson : Look out!
[Robot blasts again]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Why, that there hunk of walkin' wash boiler!
Will Robinson : We'd better run, Mr. Tucker.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Run, is it?
[Whistles loudly and the robot's power pack is instantly transported into Tucker's hands]
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Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Now, then, you say after me: I swear...
Will Robinson : I swear...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...By this here blood...
Will Robinson : ...By this here blood...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...And all the molderin' bones of every pirate ever took this oath...
Will Robinson : ...And all the molderin' bones of every pirate that ever took this oath...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...That I will be true and faithful to the articles.
Will Robinson : ...That I will be true and faithful to the articles.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : And, eh, if I ever break this oath...
Will Robinson : And if I ever break this oath...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...I hope I fall down dead in my tracks and rot...
Will Robinson : ...I hope...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Eh...
Will Robinson : ...I fall down dead in my tracks and rot...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...So help me.
Will Robinson : ...S-so help me.
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The Robot : Warning. Warning. Situation dangerous. Red alert. Red alert.
Will Robinson : Captain Tucker! What's that?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : That's the thing from Cygnet Four.
Maureen Robinson : John? I think I understand now why there was only darkness when Will thought of us. This is the end, tonight, here. Right now. There won't be any tomorrows.
Prof. John Robinson : Not yet. We've still got the Robot.
[to Smith]
Prof. John Robinson : Tell him to go out there and try to stop that thing.
Dr. Zachary Smith : It's no use. We're all doomed.
Prof. John Robinson : Do it!
Dr. Zachary Smith : Come here! That thing out there - what is it? What can you do about it? Can you stop it?
The Robot : In order of questions asked - One: It does not compute. Two: I can perform any function of an environmental control nature, as well as...
Dr. Zachary Smith : I know that. Get to the point.
The Robot : Three: Since alien life-form does not compute, this question can only be answered by trial-and-error method.
Dr. Zachary Smith : Well, don't just stand there. Go out and try!
Prof. John Robinson : Maybe the force field will hold it. It's coming through the force field!
[the Robot fires one blast of energy at the creature, which has no effect]
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Will Robinson : [about Dr. Smith's unconsciousness] What happened to him?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, danged if I know. He took one look at me, he yelled and right up and fainted. Delicate kind of a cuss, ain't he?
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Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Come down here and let's see what we got a hold o' here. Ah-ehh. Ehh. Ehh, looks like a scrubby boy. Talks like a scrubby boy. Acts like a scrubby boy - but I'll bet you ain't a scrubby boy!
Will Robinson : You bet I'm not.
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Will Robinson : Why did you become a pirate?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : What's wrong with bein' a pirate?
Will Robinson : It's wrong. That's all.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, now, that depends on what kind of a pirate.
Will Robinson : S'there more than one kind?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Course there are.
Will Robinson : What kind of pirate are you?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Nyeh... Well... I'm an HONEST pirate.
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Will Robinson : You mean, you've got a treasure?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, now, course I got a treasure. Every self-respecting pirate's got a treasure, and mine's big as any of 'em.
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Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : I'm gonna have to tie ya up, I'm afraid.
Will Robinson : Tie me up?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, you're my prisoner, ain't cha? How'm I gonna get a good night's sleep with a prisoner a runnin' around loose?
Will Robinson : Even if I promise I won't run away?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Promises, heh-heh... Unless, ah... No, no. No, you wouldn't wanna do that there, even if it meant that you wouldn't have to be tied up all night with maybe a loss of circulation 'n' cramps 'n' sickness and such.
Will Robinson : Wouldn't want to do what?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Take the pirate's oath. Eh... No! No, I... I wouldn't ask you to do that, nice boy like you. No! I bet you go to Sunday school and things like that back where you came from. No, I wouldn't dare ask you to do anythin' so awful and so blood-curdling and terrible as take the pirate's oath, ehh.
Will Robinson : Well, maybe you could just give me a little one.
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Will Robinson : What are we hiding from, Capt. Tucker?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, I guess you'd call it a thing. Uh, it's from Signet Four.
Will Robinson : What kind of thing?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Oh, oh, arr, it's just too awful to describe.
Will Robinson : Why don't you just blast it with your nucleonic planet buster?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Oh! Oh, yes. Of course, yeah. Yes, of course... my nucleonic planet buster. I... That's right. Maybe I will.