Married... with Children (TV Series)

A Bundy Thanksgiving (1996)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : [to Marcy as she's holding a cornucopia]  Why don't you take your shriveled-up gourds on out of here? And your cornucopia, too.

• Old Man : Can I help you folks?

  Al Bundy : Yeah, I need to find Aunt Maddie. Do you know where she is?

  Old Man : Oh, she's down at the church, son.

  Al Bundy : Where's that?

  Old Man : Now, you go down to the end of the block and you make a right. Go past the barber shop and you take your first right. Go another block, make another right, then one more right, and it's on your right.

  Al Bundy : Well, wouldn't it be easier just to cross the street?

  Old Man : Sure, but I need a ride to the barber shop.

• Griff : Al, how could you leave without me?

  Al Bundy : You weren't in the car?

  Griff : No! Do you know how hard it is for a bloody black man to get a cab on Thanksgiving?

  Al Bundy : I'm sorry, buddy, but thanks a lot for running interference for me!

• Marcy D'Arcy : Peggy, aren't you going to cook a turkey for your family this Thanksgiving?

  Peggy Bundy : You expect me to cook on a holiday? Homemaking is a job, too, you know.

  Al Bundy : Why don't you apply for it, Peg?

• James Brown : Wait a minute. Don't tell me you're Al Bundy.

  Al Bundy : Yeah. Did she talk about me?

  James Brown : Oh, my goodness, all the time. As a matter of fact, I'm where I am today because of you.

  Al Bundy : Really?

  James Brown : Yeah, I can hear her now. She used to always say, "James, do your homework, or you'll wind up like Al Bundy!"

• Peggy Bundy : [last scene, Al is hesitant about sharing his sweet potato pie from Aunt Maddie with his family]  Al, I think Aunt Maddie would want you to share.

  Al Bundy : Peg, the only thing I'm sharing is this Thanksgiving wish for all of you: get out.

  [suddenly, he hears a familiar voice] 

  Aunt Maddie : Al Bundy.

  [Al looks around to find the source] 

  Aunt Maddie : Down here, boy.

  [he looks down at the pie box with Aunt Maddie's portrait on it] 

  Al Bundy : [stunned]  Aunt Maddie?

  Aunt Maddie : [talks to him right through the box]  Al Bundy, what did I always say?

  Al Bundy : "If you want that cookie, you gotta pay for it?"

  Aunt Maddie : No, the other thing.

  Al Bundy : "My pies are always sweeter when you share 'em?"

  Aunt Maddie : Right! Now you share that pie with your family and friends. Don't make me hit you upside the head!

  [Aunt Maddie repositions herself back to the same stance as before in the picture] 

  Peggy Bundy : [Peggy, Kelly, Marcy, Jefferson, Budd and Griff all look at him pleadingly]  Come on, Al. It's Thanksgiving. Share with us!

  Al Bundy : [selfishly]  No.

  [turns to eat the pie and feels a slap behind the back of his head] 

  Al Bundy : OH!

  Aunt Maddie : [outraged]  Al Bundy!

  Al Bundy : [with some hesitance he finally succumbs]  Okay.

  [turns to the others] 

  Al Bundy : Anybody wanna share my pie?

  [everyone happily join Al standing around the pie] 

  Aunt Maddie : [proudly]  Good boy.

  Al Bundy : [thinking the last lines of the episode as he cuts the first piece of pie]  Happy Thanksgiving, Aunt Maddie.

• [first lines] 

  Al Bundy : You know, Peg, I hate to be a needy husband, a demanding husband, *your* husband... but where the hell is my Thanksgiving pie tin?