Married... with Children (TV Series)

A Man for No Seasons (1994)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : Your team is sponsered by a nudie bar?

  Al Bundy : Not just our team, Peg, but every team in the league. The Boston Bazooms, the New Jersey Nay-Nays, the Buffalo Bodacious Ta-Tas, and the San Francisco Guys.

• Joe Morgan : We're here with the leader of the Wrigley Field break-in boys, Al Birdie.

  Al Bundy : That's Bundy.

  Joe Morgan : Birdie, let me ask you this. Why?

  Peggy Bundy : You know, I've asked him that myself over the years. He says he's either too tired...

  Al Bundy : [interrupting]  Pay no attention to the big red machine, Joe. Why did we play baseball? For the love of the game.

  [Mike Piazza, manning the video camera, pans it over to Kelly standing nearby who does some very seductive poses for him, as Al continues talking] 

  Al Bundy : [voice]  Just like every American husband, it's our right seven months out of the year to sit on the couch with a bowl of pretzels and a frosty cold one and watch baseball. Since that right has been violated and the owners and players have not been able to resolve their differences, we just simply decided to play the game ourselves.

  Joe Morgan : [stepping into the frame of the image]  Unfortunately, our audience might have missed that since the camera's suddenly shooting Baywatch.

• Peggy Bundy : You know, the point is, that when a man has been gone this long, any man, it's just good to have him back.

  [Peg hugs Dave Winfield] 

  Bud Bundy : Mom, that's... that's not Dad, that's... that's Dave Winfield.

  Peggy Bundy , Dave Winfield : Mind your business.

• Al Bundy : And you know what the best part is, Peg?

  Peggy Bundy : Your uniform has a trap door?

  Al Bundy : Ha ha ha. If only the couch had one, Peg.

• Peggy Bundy : Breaking into Wrigley Field. How else could you embarrass me?

  Al Bundy : Well, I could pull up the shade when you're taking a shower.

• Joe Morgan : Mind if I do a little interview?

  [Al chuckles, but before he could answer, Peggy takes Joe's microphone] 

  Peggy Bundy : No problem. He tries to sell shoes. He tries to satisfy his wife. He does neither. Back to you, Joe.

  Joe Morgan : And who is this lovely lady?

  Al Bundy : [points to Kelly]  That's my daughter, Kelly. The redhead here is her mother, Rodan.

• Al Bundy : Ah, come on, Peg. So we had a little fun. It's not like everybody knows about this.

  [Bud enters with a newspaper] 

  Bud Bundy : Hey, Dad, look. You made the headline on the sports page. Look. "Loons invade Wrigley Field."

  Al Bundy : What?

  [looks at the newspaper] 

  Al Bundy : Damn press. Look, they misspelled my name. "Al Birdie."

  Peggy Bundy : Al Birdie? Heh. Al Birdie. I like it. Peggy Birdie. I really like it.

• Al Bundy : Family, guess what you're looking at.

  Peggy Bundy : The sultan of sweat?

  Al Bundy : Ha ha ha. That's right, Peg. Charge the mound.

• Peggy Bundy : You know, Al, I've thought about letting you spend the night in jail.

  Al Bundy : Well, thank you. You know, it's ribs night.

  Peggy Bundy : Not tonight. We have tickets for the theatre.

  Marcy D'Arcy : That's right. Tonight it's Ace Ventura: The Musical, starring Nell Carter, Joyce DeWitt, and that guy that played Horshack. He's Ace.

  Al Bundy : [to Officer Dan]  I confess to killing a bunch of people, and, uh... and, uh... and, uh... and eating them.

  Officer Dan : Then you've already had your ribs.