Married... with Children (TV Series)
A Three Job, No Income Family (1989)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
-
Peggy : What's wrong with you getting a second job?
Al : Peg, let me state this as clearly as I can. I would rather rip off my nose with a can opener. I would rather bob for apples in a sewer. I would rather have a catheter the size of a garden hose, before I get another job to pay for your shopping.
-
Al : Peg, why did you not sell the cosmetics?
Peggy : Well, my friends decided they were not as good as other cosmetics.
Al : OK, fine. So why in the world would you buy off yourself?
Peggy : To get the commission checks!
Al : You see Peg, when you buy off yourself you get less coming in than what you owe. In the shoe business lingo, we call that SENDING YOUR HUSBAND ROCKETING TO THE POOR HOUSE!
-
Bud : Now, you see this crack between the stove and the wall? Every now and then I'll find, say, a fuzzy M&M. Now, you just peel the protective coating, and you've got a nice little dose of simple carbohydrates. And don't throw away that colorful shell. Makes a hearty base for soup.
Al : Well, I'll get the hanger and a little piece of gum and a-hunting we will go!
-
Peggy Bundy : I have a bone to pick with you, Al.
Al Bundy : There wouldn't be any meat on it, would there?
-
Kelly Bundy : [to Al] Well, I still love you, Daddy. I just don't have any respect for you.
Al : [to Kelly] Well, Pumpkin, the feeling is mutual.
Peggy : Oh, don't worry, Al. It's not like I'm gonna rub your nose in it.
[Peggy opens the door to presume her money checks to the neighbors before going out with her children]
Peggy : Everyone, guess what? I make more money than my husband!
[She and her children go out to the shopping mall to spend Peggy's money]
Al : Well, I guess when you come right down to it...
[gets closer to Buck]
Al : ... all the guy that has is his dog.
[Al looks to Buck, but the dog growls at him]
