Married... with Children (TV Series)

Al Bundy, Shoe Dick (1991)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Quotes 

• [Al wakes from a dream and discovers that Peggy is no longer pregnant] 

  Al : Kids, just one quick question and that's it. Is your mother...

  Bud : Repulsed by you?

  Kelly : Disappointed financially and sexually by you?

  Al : No! I don't care about that, you dolts! Is she pregnant?

  [Kelly and Bud look grossed out] 

  Al : Marcy?

  [Kelly and Bud look even more grossed out] 

  Kelly : [to Bud]  Do you think he's crazy?

  Bud : He must be. He didn't ask about you.

• Al : Bud, was I a private detective wanted for murder or was that all just a dream?

  Bud : It just might have been a dream, Dad.

  Al : Do you also call yourself street rapper Grandmaster B or was that all just a dream?

  Bud : Grandmaster what?

  Kelly : Oh, come on, Daddy. Even Bud's not stupid enough to think up a new persona for...

  Bud : Wait a minute! Grandmaster B? That sounds like a great idea! I could make up that I come from the south side. I could wear my baseball cap backwards. Oh man, I'm gonna go to my room right now and write my first rap song!

  Kelly : Well, how's this for a title? "Yo, I'm really a boy!"

• Kelly Bundy : I have a plan, Daddy.

  Al Bundy : It would be you, Pumpkin.

  Kelly Bundy : Now Daddy, the cops are probably watching the airports and the train stations and the bus stations, right? Well, there is one way out. You could dig a hole to China. I saw Bugs Bunny do it once. Daffy never found him.

  Al Bundy : Pumpkin, if Daddy gets the chair, would you sit in his lap one last time?

  Kelly Bundy : I'd be honored.