- Kelly Bundy: Hey, Daddy. Whatcha doin'?
- Al Bundy: Nothing you need to know, Pumpkin.
- Kelly Bundy: Ah, a home pregnancy test. Let me show you. Now, you just fill the dropper to the line, and then shake the mix with the anti-HCG conjugate. Put it back into the stand, add the litmus key, and if the test area, not the control area, turns blue, then you have a positive reading.
- [Al glares at Kelly who looks embarrassed at how she knows all about the pregnancy test]
- Kelly Bundy: Uh... I saw the Professor do it on Gilligan's Island.
- Miss Penza: [reading from a will] "And so in legacy, I, Stymie C. Bundy, leave you, the last surviving male Bundys, is proof that a male Bundy can achieve great success. Did I mention that I never married? Well, regardless, I'm certain that you have all become successful in your own ways. Iggy Bundy..."
- [Al's cousin Iggy is shown wearing a janitor's uniform, and sitting next to his overweight, expensively dressed, redhead wife]
- Miss Penza: "I'm sure you became the astronaut you dreamed of. Lester Bundy...
- Miss Penza: [Al's cousin Lester is shown wearing a street cleaner's uniform, sitting next to his overweight, expensively dressed, redhead wife]
- Miss Penza: "I'm sure you achieved your goal of becoming a brain surgeon. Eugene Bundy...
- [Al's brother Eugene is wearing a prison uniform, with leg irons and an armed guard with him]
- Miss Penza: "I wonder if you ever achieved your goal of becoming bank president?"
- Eugene Bundy: I did.
- Miss Penza: [still reading from the will] "And last and certainly least of the bunch, Al Bundy. Al, get your hands out of your pants!"
- [Al, who has his right hand down his waistline complies, looking very annoyed as Miss Penza continues reading]
- Miss Penza: "You were always the loser. You never really had a dream. But I only hope that you had the sense to dump that wild redhead who stole my wallet."
- Kelly Bundy: What if they
- [Peg and Al]
- Kelly Bundy: do have another baby? It'll be so confusing. I mean, what will that be to me.
- Bud Bundy: A tutor.