Married... with Children (TV Series)

And Bingo Was Her Game-O (1995)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : [drunk]  Hey, Jefferson... I got a bad feeling.

  Jefferson : [also drunk]  Al, you drank about 40 beers. It's a wonder you can feel anything at all.

  Al Bundy : No, I could have sworn that I was supposed to do something at nine o'clock. Uh... what time is it now?

  Jefferson : [looks at his wristwatch]  It's 10:15.

  Al Bundy : Oh... well, whatever it is that I'm supposed to do... I guess I already did it.

• Jefferson : Okay, our next beer is a fine Afghani ale, whose Pashtu name loosely translated means, "yellow mountain run-off".

  Bob Rooney : [a jingling sound is heard from inside the beer cans]  Oh, hey listen. There's a prize in every can.

  Griff : I'd be careful about that prize stuff. Remember what fell out of that can of Russian Chernobyl beer?

  Ike : What? That was an olive, right?

  Al Bundy : Sure, with an eyelid.

• Bob Rooney : [drunk]  Al... I don't want to box anymore. Let's dance!

  Al Bundy : [more drunk]  When you were dancing, you wanted to box.

  Bob Rooney : Yeah... but, when I was dancing, I didn't get to lead.

• Al Bundy : [waking up from drunken stupor, sees Kelly and Bud]  Oh, my children. What's-Her-Name and Don't-Worry-I'm-On-The-Pill.

• Al Bundy : [grabbed box of Coco Lumps]  Peg, we need something to cleanse the palate between beers.

  Peggy Bundy : Have you tried toothpaste?

  Al Bundy : No, Peg. Toothpaste is for people who kiss, smile or eat.

  Peggy Bundy : Well, if you kissed, you might eat.

  Al Bundy : Yeah, but I wouldn't smile.

  [looks at the cereal box:] 

  Al Bundy : "Do not sell after 1989."

  [with a shrug:] 

  Al Bundy : Hell, I'm not selling, I'm eating.

• Al Bundy : [drunk]  Hey, pookie. How was bingo?

  Peggy Bundy : It was great, Al. I won the $10,000.

  Al Bundy : $10,000, Peg? Let me see it.

  [Peggy gives Al the money] 

  Al Bundy : This is only 3 bucks.

  Marcy D'Arcy : Well... That's all we had left after fighting our way north via the underground railroad!

  Peggy Bundy : Thank your father, kids.

  Kelly Bundy , Bud Bundy : Thanks, Dad.