Married... with Children (TV Series)

Birthday Boy Toy (1997)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : Al, don't make me stop shopping. You'll destroy my life!

  Al : Good, then we'll be even!

• Kelly : [Playing a shoe store customer]  Excuse me, Sir, do you have any purple pumps?

  Al : ...Certainly we have purple pimps. At Gary's Shoes, we feet your treat.

• Al : I hope one of these bills is for a coffin, because your shopping is killing me.

• Bud Bundy : Listen to me! You're fired! You're out, you're finished, you're Must Flee TV!

  Al Bundy : Wow, that came out of nowhere. Why the sudden change of heart?

  Bud Bundy : No, no, it's not sudden. Your acting sucks. It sucked when we started, it sucks now, it will always suck!

  Al Bundy : Well, that's just one person's opinion, isn't it?

  Kelly Bundy , Griff : It sucks.

  Men : [outside of store]  It sucks.

  Woman : [over loudspeaker]  Attention, shoppers, Al Bundy sucks.

• Bud Bundy : [preparing to do their commercial]  Let's just do it one more time, okay?

  Al Bundy : Oh, fine, fine. Take 32, which is three more than it took me, by the way.

  Griff : That's because you've ruined every one of mine.

  Al Bundy : It's because we had a couple of accidents.

  Bud Bundy : Oh, dropping a light on Griff's head?

  Al Bundy : Freak occurrence.

  Kelly Bundy : The fire in the stock room?

  Al Bundy : Act of God.

  Griff : Rollerblading through here with your pants down, playing a tuba?

  Al Bundy : Hey, what I do on my break is my business.