Married... with Children (TV Series)

Blonde and Blonder (1995)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Quotes 

• [Al and Peggy are playfully shooting each other with Nerf Ball guns] 

  Marcy : What is going on here?

  Al : Foreplay.

  Peggy : No, this can't be foreplay. I'm enjoying it.

  Al : And, I'm in the room.

• Marcy : What's Mr. Potato Head doing in here?

  Al : [misunderstands Marcy]  I don't know, you married him.

  [he and Jefferson laughs as Marcy is mad] 

  Marcy : Not that Mr. Potato Head, the one that's actually worth something.

• [Al, Peggy, Jefferson and Marcy are playing a Twister board game] 

  Peggy : All right Al, left hand on blue.

  Al : [thinking to himself; voice-over]  What is it about this game that's so sexy? I'm touching Peg's rear, and for some reason, it feels pretty good.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [voice-over]  I feel someone touching my rear. I think it's Al. Well, he's not as strong as Marcy, but at least he knows what I like.

  Peggy : [voice-over]  Wow, I like this game with all these hands across my back and grouping my tush. This is just like sex except I have a partner.

  Marcy : [voice-over]  Oh, I hate this game. Nobody's touching my rear and it's way way up in the air!

• Marcy : So Peggy, do you have any other kids' things?

  Peggy : Well, we have those child safety seats in the garage that we never put into the car.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Why not?

  Al : Well, we found that it was much easier to just leave the kids at home.