Married... with Children (TV Series)

Buck the Stud (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : Al, this isn't a check for $10,000. This is a bill for $10,000.

  Al Bundy : If you look a little closer, you'll see it's a bill for $100,000. You see, Buck was ready all right. A little bit more ready than our Lady of Astoria. Or should I say, the late Lady of Astoria.

  Peggy Bundy : To death, Al?

  Al Bundy : And beyond, Peg. But don't worry, the hundred-thou is payable over a three day period. So, I figure a couple of busy days at the shoe store, maybe a lemonade stand manned by my two daughters here, we'll be able to save up enough money to buy a chocolate bar and maybe some nylons for my new cellmate Bruno.

  Kelly Bundy : Daddy, if it'll help any, you can have my share of the $10,000.

  Al Bundy : I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow.

• [Al and Peg come up from the dark cellar] 

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, Al, take me again!

  Al Bundy : I didn't even know I was taking you then, I tripped on a box and then I thought the furnace fell on me!

• Peggy Bundy : [off-screen]  Come on, Al. Is that the best you can do?

  Al Bundy : Peg, I can't concentrate if you're going to keep shouting instructions!

  Peggy Bundy : Not like that you moron! Who taught you to do this anyway?

  Al Bundy : All right, that's it! I quit! Haven't we done enough for one day?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, all right. At least you did something.

  [Al and Peggy enter from the back yard after cleaning up after Buck] 

• Jefferson D'Arcy : I think you've got a problem with your dog.

  Marcy D'Arcy : Oh, we know all about it. Neither he nor his master can perform.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Oh, well, I can't speak for Al. The satisfied look on Peggy's face does that.

  [Peggy stares off, clearly unhappy. Marcy comforts her] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : But your dog is a veritable windmill out on my yard with every dog in the neighborhood, even the Hendersons' lawn elf.

  [Al looks outside] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : He's out there every day.

  Al Bundy : You see, Peg, that's his trouble with the Briard. He's exhausted! Well, I'll put a stop to this.

  [Al leaves] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : Oh, gee. This should be worth watching.

  [looks outside] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : 'Cause I don't think it's wise for Al to try and break up a tryst between Buck and what appears to be a very large Rottweiler with a spiked collar.

  [dogs are heard barking and growling] 

  Al Bundy : Hey! Hey, not there! Not th... Hey, watch it now!

  [Al screams in pain]