- Al Bundy: Well, I'll tell ya something, Peg. Feet and the return of warm weather sure makes for a deadly combination.
- Marcy Rhoades: Look, we know Bella can be loud and annoying. And the whole neighborhood hates his guts, but at least he's a good protector.
- Bud Bundy: Gee, Mom! That's just what you say about Dad!
- Al Bundy: Where are the kids?
- Peggy Bundy: Upstairs.
- Al Bundy: What if they come down?
- Peggy Bundy: I'll take care of that.
- [shouts upstairs]
- Peggy Bundy: Bud, Kelly, do you want to come down and help me in the kitchen?
- [two doors slam]
- Steve Rhoades: Uh, hi, Peggy. Uh, Al. Hope we're not interrupting anything.
- Al Bundy: Naaaah, just going to have a little sex with the wife. What the heck, there's always next month.
- Steve Rhoades: Hi, Peg. Borrow a cup of kibble? We ran out and the dog's still hungry.
- Al Bundy: What's the matter? The neighbor's cat didn't fill him up?
- Peggy Bundy: How could you shoot a dog?
- Al Bundy: He didn't look like a dog, Peg. All I'd seen were these two yellow eyes staring at me from the bushes and I - I told him to freeze. And then I thought it made a move at me, and I panicked.
- Kelly Bundy: You couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a human being?
- Al Bundy: He was wearing a hat! Kelly, honey, I was trying to protect our family!
- Bud Bundy: That's right, Kel. Dad did a good thing. Can I go out and see the body?
- Kelly Bundy: You're disgusting!
- Bud Bundy: [pulls a face at her] And you're failing five classes!
- Muldoon: [while discussing the robbery at the Rhoades' house] Not gonna happen to my house! I'm ready for 'em. I got 50,000 volts going through my window bars, I got a bucket of battery acid hanging over the back door and I got a .30-aught-6 rigged to the front doorknob.
- Steve Rhoades: Then how do you get into your house?
- Muldoon: Wouldn't you like to know?
- Steve Rhoades: You see, Bella still hasn't accepted us as his rightful owners.
- Al Bundy: You named that dog after Bela Lugosi?
- Steve Rhoades: No, Abzug.
- Marcy Rhoades: We thought it was kind of cute. But he won't wear the hat.