Married... with Children (TV Series)

Cheese, Cues, and Blood (1991)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Marcy, I need your advice. How can a young, attractive, not-so-bright woman like my daughter Kelly earn $1,000 in three nights?

  Marcy : Well, lets see. Either as an opening act for M.C. Hammer, or by spanking elderly gentlemen in a tight black leather dress.

  Al : Hey now, my daughter may be a lot of things, but she would never resort to professions like that.

  [Kelly enters wearing a tight black leather dress] 

  Kelly : Daddy, I'm going out now and I'll be home by dawn.

  Al : Sure, have a good time pumpkin.

  [Kelly exits] 

  Al : Now, as I was saying, if my daughter was doing something illegal or immoral, I would know about it.

  [the phone rings] 

  Al : Hello? No, Kelly's out. Sure, I'll take a message. What's that? You have the money... and you can't wait to see if she's good as the guys say she is? Huh? Uh-ah... and you'll meet here where? Uh-ah... well maybe I'll see you there.

• [Kelly needs money for her stake in a pool bet; Al zombie-walks into the bar, with gauze taped up the length of both arms] 

  Kelly : Daddy, you look so pale.

  Al : Perhaps that's because I've been running all over town, selling pints of blood to nine blood banks.

  Jefferson : Al, the human body only holds eight pints.

  Al : Well, that's what they say, but the brain hides some!

• [Jefferson is managing Kelly's pool-hustling; Al comes into the bar and sees him dressed like a pimp] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Oh, hey, Al! Man, you should see your daughter in action, she's...

  [Al seizes Jefferson by the throat and slams him down onto the pool table] 

  Al : Say goodnight, Super Fly.

  Kelly : [comes back from the bathroom]  Daddy, what are you doing here?

  Al : Stand back, Pumpkin. He's about to pop and you don't want teeth and eyes all over you.