Married... with Children (TV Series)

Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics (1989)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Al is reading from a newspaper about Jim Jupiter's death with the headline 'Healthiest Man in Chicago Drops Dead'] 

  Al Bundy : "County coroner gave his report on Jim Jupiter's death. Blood sugar level: enough to kill three horses. Cholesterol level: high enough to dam the mighty Mississippi."

  Peggy Bundy : This is all my fault, Al. I did it. I killed the healthiest man in Chicago.

  Al Bundy : So? You've slowly been killing me for years and you don't seem to care.

• Al Bundy : C'mon, everybody, family meeting.

  [they all sit] 

  Al Bundy : Now, Peg, I know you think you're responsible for killing Jim. And yet you have no guilt of squashing the life out of me, but that's another meeting. Anyway, what I'm saying is, you didn't kill Jim. Good health killed Jim. See, he purified his body so completely, that when finally called on to do so, he couldn't handle the grease and sugar and toxic waste that we call food. He rendered himself extinct. See, healthy people are like dinosaurs. They're not fit to survive.

• Steve Rhoades : Want to see Mikado tonight?

  Al Bundy : Who's he fightin'?

• Al Bundy : A man's home is his coffin.