Married... with Children (TV Series)

Death of a Shoe Salesman (1992)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Hi. We were just wondering, do you know where Seven is?

  Peggy Bundy : No.

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Well, let me put your minds to rest. He's been living with us for the past three days. He walked in when you left for that Hawaii/Rock of Ages thing and now doesn't want to leave.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : He's improving slowly. He still can't read, write, or use a knife and fork, but he has learned to chant "kill the Bundys" with us and and the other neighbors.

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : If you don't mind, we were thinking about renaming him Henry, after my father.

  Peggy Bundy : [shrugs]  Sure, that's okay.

  Al Bundy : [shrugs]  What do we care? Do what you want.

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : What we want is for you to come and get him. He's irritating. He calls us Dad and Little Dad.

• Peggy Bundy : Kids, don't you think Daddy should wear his wedding ring when he's dead?

  Al Bundy : I married you till death do us part, which means when I'm dead, I'm free to date.

• Al Bundy : I wonder what kind of toilet paper they used to use in the old west.

• Al Bundy : Fuzzy McGee, he's still alive. As a matter of fact, he's still working. He just made a commercial just the other day. You know, that one for adult diapers, "Soak'ems". You remember, "When you just can't quite say 'Whoa' anymore".

• Al Bundy : Ah, the Duke. One of his finest films, "I shoot 'em 'cause they're Injuns". As a woman viewer, what's your opinion, Pumpkin?

  Kelly Bundy : Daddy, I would rather be reading. Does that tell you anything?

  Al Bundy : It means you're a girl, which means your opinion means less than the dog's. Bud, what do you think?

  Bud Bundy : Well Dad, I'm thinking this Duke guy walks a lot like you when you have to go to the bathroom.

  Al Bundy : I copied that walk! 'Cause I figured the reason he does it like that is 'cause no one in those movies ever goes to the bathroom.