- Peggy Bundy: Al doesn't want to be buried next to me. Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Well, frankly, yes. I think when two people take the marriage vows it's sacred. That's why I'm going to be buried next to my husband Steve.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Uh, my name is Jefferson. And I'm your husband now, and by the way, we are not in bed so there's no excuse for calling me Steve. He is your ex-husband.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Oh, don't take it personally. Every woman screams out "Steve" during sex. Don't they, Peggy?
- Peggy Bundy: Not me. It's too long a name.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Hi. We were just wondering, do you know where Seven is?
- Peggy Bundy: No.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Well, let me put your minds to rest. He's been living with us for the past three days. He walked in when you left for that Hawaii/Rock of Ages thing and now doesn't want to leave.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: He's improving slowly. He still can't read, write, or use a knife and fork, but he has learned to chant "kill the Bundys" with us and and the other neighbors.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: If you don't mind, we were thinking about renaming him Henry, after my father.
- Peggy Bundy: [shrugs] Sure, that's okay.
- Al Bundy: [shrugs] What do we care? Do what you want.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: What we want is for you to come and get him. He's irritating. He calls us Dad and Little Dad.
- Peggy Bundy: Kids, don't you think Daddy should wear his wedding ring when he's dead?
- Al Bundy: I married you till death do us part, which means when I'm dead, I'm free to date.
- Peggy Bundy: You know, you male corpses are all alike., Never a thought for the woman who spent her life gettin' you into that grave.
- Newscaster: We interrupt Western Geezer Theater for a special announcement: Chicago's beloved Fuzzy McGee, better known to our younger viewers as Sheriff Soak'ems, died today. Fuzzy is survived by his trusted mule, Dadgummit.
- Al Bundy: Fuzzy McGee, he's still alive. As a matter of fact, he's still working. He just made a commercial just the other day. You know, that one for adult diapers, "Soak'ems". You remember, "When you just can't quite say 'Whoa' anymore".
- Al Bundy: Ah, the Duke. One of his finest films, "I shoot 'em 'cause they're Injuns". As a woman viewer, what's your opinion, Pumpkin?
- Kelly Bundy: Daddy, I would rather be reading. Does that tell you anything?
- Al Bundy: It means you're a girl, which means your opinion means less than the dog's. Bud, what do you think?
- Bud Bundy: Well Dad, I'm thinking this Duke guy walks a lot like you when you have to go to the bathroom.
- Al Bundy: I copied that walk! 'Cause I figured the reason he does it like that is 'cause no one in those movies ever goes to the bathroom.