Married... with Children (TV Series)
Field of Screams (1994)
Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy
Quotes
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Kelly Bundy : Hi, Mom. Bud still have boobs?
[Peggy nods]
Kelly Bundy : Oh, well. Then I guess I'll be sleeping over at Cindy's again tonight.
-
Kelly Bundy : Where's Daddy?
Peggy Bundy : Oh, he's been down at city hall at the city council meeting all afternoon. He's really steamed about them paving over his old football field.
Kelly Bundy : I hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.
Peggy Bundy : You mean spectacle, honey.
Kelly Bundy : No. I really mean testicle.
Peggy Bundy : Well, let's see what's on the news.
[Peggy switches on the remote control for the TV set]
TV Announcer : And on the lighter more pitiful side of the news, self-proclaimed football legend Al Bundy is leading a protest against the Trans-Mexican auto plant by handcuffing himself to a goal post on his old high school playing field. He has vowed to stay chained at this post until the project is moved to another location, or quote: prove to me that Marcy 'the Chicken' D'Arcy has lips.
Peggy Bundy : What a testicle!
-
Bud Bundy : [dismayed] Come on, Ma, tell the truth.
[looking down at his man-boobs]
Bud Bundy : Do you think these will turn girls off?
Peggy Bundy : Oh, come on, honey. Don't let a little thing like a couple of boobs get you down. It's not like you're permanent. I mean, it's been a whole week and look how much better Buck is getting.
Buck the Dog : [Buck is now a turkey] I sure hope this crap wears off before Thanksgiving.
Bud Bundy : Maybe you're right, Ma. I'll just hide for a while. It's not like I had any plans this week.
[goes to answer doorbell]
Sascha : [in doorway, luscious blonde, with breathy voice] Hi, Bud.
[Bud is hiding behind door, mortified]
Sascha : It's me, Sascha, the girl you've wanted every day and night of your life since the first grade. Well, I'm about to enter a convent, and I wanted to be with a real man for my first, last, and only time. Take me, Bud! Take me now!
Bud Bundy : [reaches out from behind door - her luscious body is so near, yet so far - gives up] You caught me at a bad time. Goodbye.
Sascha : [gasps a startled little stifled cry of defeat] Oh!
Peggy Bundy : [to retreating Bud] Where are you going?
Bud Bundy : [plodding up the stairs to his room] To cop a feel and kill myself.
Kelly Bundy : [entering] Hi, Mom. Does Bud still have boobs?
[Peggy nods]
Kelly Bundy : Ah, well, then I'll be sleeping at Cindy's.
-
Kelly Bundy : Where's Dad?
Peggy Bundy : Oh, he's down at the City counsel meeting. You know, he's all steamed up about them paving over his football field.
Kelly Bundy : Ugh, I just hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.
Peggy Bundy : You mean 'spectacle', honey.
Kelly Bundy : No, I mean, 'testicle'. I'm used to the spectacle thing.