- Kelly Bundy: Hi, Mom. Bud still have boobs?
- [Peggy nods]
- Kelly Bundy: Oh, well. Then I guess I'll be sleeping over at Cindy's again tonight.
- Kelly Bundy: Where's Daddy?
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, he's been down at city hall at the city council meeting all afternoon. He's really steamed about them paving over his old football field.
- Kelly Bundy: I hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.
- Peggy Bundy: You mean spectacle, honey.
- Kelly Bundy: No. I really mean testicle.
- Peggy Bundy: Well, let's see what's on the news.
- [Peggy switches on the remote control for the TV set]
- TV Announcer: And on the lighter more pitiful side of the news, self-proclaimed football legend Al Bundy is leading a protest against the Trans-Mexican auto plant by handcuffing himself to a goal post on his old high school playing field. He has vowed to stay chained at this post until the project is moved to another location, or quote: prove to me that Marcy 'the Chicken' D'Arcy has lips.
- Peggy Bundy: What a testicle!
- Marcy D'Arcy: Al, those insect bites you have look awful.
- Al Bundy: Insect bites? Oh, thank God! I thought they were hickies from that bum over there.
- Bud Bundy: [dismayed] Come on, Ma, tell the truth.
- [looking down at his man-boobs]
- Bud Bundy: Do you think these will turn girls off?
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, come on, honey. Don't let a little thing like a couple of boobs get you down. It's not like you're permanent. I mean, it's been a whole week and look how much better Buck is getting.
- Buck the Dog: [Buck is now a turkey] I sure hope this crap wears off before Thanksgiving.
- Bud Bundy: Maybe you're right, Ma. I'll just hide for a while. It's not like I had any plans this week.
- [goes to answer doorbell]
- Sascha: [in doorway, luscious blonde, with breathy voice] Hi, Bud.
- [Bud is hiding behind door, mortified]
- Sascha: It's me, Sascha, the girl you've wanted every day and night of your life since the first grade. Well, I'm about to enter a convent, and I wanted to be with a real man for my first, last, and only time. Take me, Bud! Take me now!
- Bud Bundy: [reaches out from behind door - her luscious body is so near, yet so far - gives up] You caught me at a bad time. Goodbye.
- Sascha: [gasps a startled little stifled cry of defeat] Oh!
- Peggy Bundy: [to retreating Bud] Where are you going?
- Bud Bundy: [plodding up the stairs to his room] To cop a feel and kill myself.
- Kelly Bundy: [entering] Hi, Mom. Does Bud still have boobs?
- [Peggy nods]
- Kelly Bundy: Ah, well, then I'll be sleeping at Cindy's.
- Kelly Bundy: Where's Dad?
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, he's down at the City counsel meeting. You know, he's all steamed up about them paving over his football field.
- Kelly Bundy: Ugh, I just hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.
- Peggy Bundy: You mean 'spectacle', honey.
- Kelly Bundy: No, I mean, 'testicle'. I'm used to the spectacle thing.