Married... with Children (TV Series)

Grime and Punishment (1997)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bud : Gee, Dad, Mom left teeth marks all over your neck.

  Al : No, son, that was me, I tried to sever my own jugular. Damn clotting.

• Bud : Okay, I'll let you go, but you've gotta promise to give me a head start.

  [Bud removes the wire from Al's neck] 

  Al : Sure, Son, what do you think I'm gonna do? Hunt you down like a dog and kill you? Sure, a normal father would do that, but we're Bundys.

  Bud : Oh God. What does that mean, you're gonna eat me?

• Bud : Why aren't there any pictures of me in here?

  Al : Well frankly son, you were one uuugly baby.

  Peggy : I thought you were beautiful.

  Al : Ah come on Peg, you used to diaper his face.

• Bud : I can't believe that didn't break you.

  Al : You forget who I'm married to. Torture is my middle name.

• Al : Well, your laziness, your sloping forehead, your... ability to catch flies with your tongue.

  Bud : This is what you call a pat on the back?

  Al : No, no, no, Son, see, you got mad like anybody would, but you got mad and EVEN. That's what makes you part of the grand Bundy Tradition. I'll never forget my old man, sweet guy. Sold my Schwin for the price of a drink. I was so mad at him, before he knew it, I enlisted him into the Army. But the time he came back from Korea, boy, he was so ticked off, good thing he was in a wheelchair.

• Bud : Why me? Why don't you charge Kelly rent or mom?

  Al : Well son, Kelly hasn't slept here in years.

• Peggy : Look Bud, your first words.

  [from Bud's Baby Book] 

  Bud : Bud need food... Bud want food... ouch?

• Marcy D'Arcy : And I get to torture him. Here's another hundred.

  Bud : You enjoy yourself, but remember, you gotta be out by 2. You'd be surprised at how many people want to torture dad.

  Marcy D'Arcy : No I wouldn't.