Married... with Children (TV Series)

Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (1995)

Tim Conway: Ephraim Wanker

Quotes 

• Al : Who the hell would put a bear-trap in an outhouse?

  Ephraim Wanker : They wouldn't. That ain't no bear-trap, that's a human-trap.

  Al : Well, why would you want to trap a human?

  Ephraim Wanker : I don't know, ask the bears, them was the ones who put it in there.

• Twichy : Ephraim, how much you want for that wading pool?

  [points] 

  Ephraim Wanker : That ain't no wading pool. That's my little darling's shower cap. That ain't for sale, you son of an onion.

• Ephraim Wanker : So Al, whaddya hear from my bigger half?

• Al : I'll even throw in a pair of my shoes.

  Ephraim Wanker : Will ya show me how they work, too?

• Ephraim Wanker : That's my wife's old eatin' lamp. She used to use it at night while I was asleep. I'd be countin' sheep and she'd be eatin' 'em.