- [last lines]
- Al Bundy: I went to the tattoo parlour. Good news: she didn't get the tattoo.
- Peggy Bundy: I know. She's upstairs. Did you find Jim?
- Al Bundy: Yep. I followed Brian to his house, broke the door down, and I was gonna break Jimmy's head when... she came out of the kitchen. Peg, her face was in a jello mold, and she was wearing a muumuu, but it had to be slit so she could fit into it. And she... Peg, she had no knees! So I let him live. I figured that's the worst thing I could do to him.
- Peggy Bundy: That's my Al.
- Al Bundy: She was horrible, Peg. Horrible!
- [smiles]
- Al Bundy: You look good, Peg.
- Peggy Bundy: Thanks, Al.
- [He puts his arm around her and they settle onto the couch]
- Al Bundy: God, she was fat...
- [coming back from their latest softball game]
- Peggy Bundy: I know, I know. I stink. But it was close!
- Al Bundy: We lost to nuns.
- Peggy Bundy: I have never been so humiliated. In front of everyone, you told Sister Mary Alice: "bless this, honey".
- Al Bundy: Hey, I might not know all the religious gestures, but I recognized the one she gave to me!
- Peggy Bundy: It's only a game.
- Al Bundy: No, it's only a game if you win. But if you lose, It's a stinkin' waste of time.
- Peggy Bundy: At least I hit the ball.
- Al Bundy: Oh great, you finally make a bunt and an 80-year-old man beats you to first base. 'Course he wasn't wearing high heels.
- Al Bundy: Next week, we play the Christian T-shirt shop. Now, they've never won a game because they refuse to steal, but they've never played us.
- Kelly Bundy: Brian, I'd like you to meet my brother, Bug.
- Bud Bundy: That's Bud. I was named after a beer.
- Jimmy: Hi Peggy. You don't remember me, do you?
- Peggy Bundy: No.
- Jimmy: I'll give you a little hint: that night behind the aquarium in high school.
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, Craig!
- Jimmy: No.
- Peggy Bundy: Ted?
- Jimmy: No.
- Peggy Bundy: Rodrigo!
- Jimmy: No.
- Peggy Bundy: Well you're just going to have to be a little more specific.
- Al Bundy: Where's Kelly?
- Peggy Bundy: I don't know, but I think she might be out with Brian.
- Al Bundy: Oh that's great. My daughter is out with the spawn of Norman Bates and Sea Biscuit.