Married... with Children (TV Series)
How Green Was My Apple (1994)
Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy
Quotes
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Al : [Bud and his date are about to leave] Son, since you're using the Dodge tonight, I need you to stop by the hardware store and pick up fifty pounds of manure for me and stop at the drug store and pick up some 'rhoid cream for me.
Kelly : While you're there, get me some extra large maxipads too.
Bud : Does anyone need me to pick up anything really embarrassing?
Peggy : Suppositories!
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Al : That driveway out there. As you can see, it's built nowhere up to it's code. I made it out of ground up women's shoes. So, how much is the fine?
Gary Coleman : Well since you turned yourself in, I'll let it go at $100.
Al : I see, and what if I said I made it that way just to make you look like an idiot?
Gary Coleman : Then that would be $1,500.
Bud : And what if we called you a moron to boot?
Gary Coleman : $2,000.
Kelly : Are you sure you're not Gary Coleman from Diff'rent Strokes?
Gary Coleman : No, I am not.
Kelly : Good. I hated that show.
Gary Coleman : $5,000.
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Kelly : Dad, they blew up the wall of our house! Bud's room is a mess, there's rubber body parts everywhere.
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Al : Pumpkin! Pumpkin, I want you to do me a favor. Go to the hardware store and get Daddy some smudge pots.
Kelly : [perplexed] What are smudge pots?
Al : They keep your apples warm, so they don't get frozen.
Bud : You call them Marines.
Kelly : Oh. All right.
Al : And, Son, I have an even more important job for you. Go get me fifty pounds of manure.
Peggy : Oh, and Bud, I need a jumbo box of tampons.
Al : And don't forget my 'rhoid cream.
Bud : Does anybody need anything embarrassing while I'm at it?
[opens front door, gorgeous blonde on doorstep, his dream girl]
Al : [in unison] Suppositories!
Peggy : [in unison] Suppositories!
Girl : [alluringly, to Bud] I was just coming over to see you.
Bud : Uhm, not right now. I gotta go somewhere.
Girl : [longingly] Well, can I come with you?
Bud : No! And don't follow me either!
