Married... with Children (TV Series)

How Green Was My Apple (1994)

Joni Allen: Girl

Quotes 

• Al : Pumpkin! Pumpkin, I want you to do me a favor. Go to the hardware store and get Daddy some smudge pots.

  Kelly : [perplexed]  What are smudge pots?

  Al : They keep your apples warm, so they don't get frozen.

  Bud : You call them Marines.

  Kelly : Oh. All right.

  Al : And, Son, I have an even more important job for you. Go get me fifty pounds of manure.

  Peggy : Oh, and Bud, I need a jumbo box of tampons.

  Al : And don't forget my 'rhoid cream.

  Bud : Does anybody need anything embarrassing while I'm at it?

  [opens front door, gorgeous blonde on doorstep, his dream girl] 

  Al : [in unison]  Suppositories!

  Peggy : [in unison]  Suppositories!

  Girl : [alluringly, to Bud]  I was just coming over to see you.

  Bud : Uhm, not right now. I gotta go somewhere.

  Girl : [longingly]  Well, can I come with you?

  Bud : No! And don't follow me either!