Married... with Children (TV Series)

If Al Had a Hammer (1991)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Bud has decided to become a rapper] 

  Bud : Goodbye, Bud Bundy; hello Grandmaster B.

  Kelly : What does the B stand for?

  Bud : 'Brother of an idiot'.

• Kelly : At the beginning of the last meeting I suggested we have no more meetings. It was seconded by Bud, my brother, and Dad, my daddy. We stared dully at Mom and then were forced into a chorus of "We Love The Baby." Then Mom left to pee, and Dad suggested that we play a lethal round of "How Fat Is She?"

  [Al lifts his head, worried, and Peg glares at him] 

  Kelly : Dad guessed 415lbs. We all laughed, and Dad said "Don't write this down, Pumpkin." That concludes my report.

• Kelly : Don't be so hard on yourself, Bud. I bet there are plenty of cool guys who sit home on Friday night watching 'Star Trek' reruns hoping to catch a glimpse of Klingon cleavage.

  Bud : Let the record show that I was licking the screen in an attempt to clean it.

• Al : Let the record show that the chairperson shows not only the wit, but also the body of Buddy Hackett.

  Kelly : Duly noted.