Married... with Children (TV Series)

If Al Had a Hammer (1991)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bud : [Bud is explaining his new identity]  My story is that I'm a bad boy rapper from the streets of New York and I am hiding out in Chicago because I killed a man or spray painted a tree or an old man or something.

  Peggy : Excuse me but isn't that the plot of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'?

  Bud : Yes, but that's an NBC show, so who would know?

• Al : That's what's wrong with this country, Peg; everytime something tears up, we call someone to fix it. Not like Grandpa Bundy; there was a fixin' man.

  Bud : You mean Grandpa Hook?

  Al : Well, circular saws were new then. But he carved his own hook; he didn't call anybody!

  Peggy : It would have been hard for him to hold the phone with the one finger he had left on his other hand.

  Al : One finger is all a real American needs, Peg.

• Al : Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.

  Peggy : No, genetically, they all failed.

• Peggy : Who is loved more than all babies that came before him. Now, since we have limited space, I would like to move that the baby share a room with Daddy and me. We'll just put a crib at the foot of the bed.

  Al : I would like the record to show that I would rather sleep in a bunk bed under Oprah. I would rather engage in a frolicking threesome with Roseanne and her cool husband. I would rather play Naked Twister with every one of the Golden Girls, than have that little screaming doodie geyser at the foot of my bed. I've said my piece, thank you.

  [he sits down, then stands back up] 

  Al : Hail baby.

• Peggy : Now kids; you know that Daddy has worked hard on his new room and we don't want to hurt his feelings, so, nobody laugh until I do first!