- Bud: Curse you. I curse you to your worst nightmare, an eternity of being together... and you can't leave the bedroom... and Grandma's there... and she's out of Depends.
- Kelly: Bud.
- Bud: What?
- Kelly: Mom and Dad just left us alone. Alone, with no parental supervision.
- [Bud thinks about this for a second]
- Bud: And stay out. Yes, finally alone. Free, free to run amuck.
- [Bud rubs his hands]
- Bud: Oh the hooters I'll be a-juggling.
- Kelly: Yeah well, don't hurt your hand on the staples.
- Marcy: Listen to this! Even though Jefferson has a job, he is still charging his lunches on my credit card... and you should see the size of the tips he leaves the waitresses, and you know what he said when I called him on it? "Hey babe, I'm good-looking." That's his answer to everything!
- Al: What is his answer to the cries of "Hey there! Where are you going with that little boy?"