- Bink Winkleman: Are you ready for the final challenge, Steve?
- Al Bundy: What's it gonna be this time, Bink? Hand grenade down the pants? Spear in the pelvis? Impailing on a fence? Come on, don't keep me in suspense here. The wife need a new car!
- [Marcy and Steve are impersonating the Bundys on the TV game show]
- Steve Rhoades: So, you stole our mail and our names, huh?
- Peggy Bundy: How'd you find out?
- Steve Rhoades: Your kids sold you out for a square meal.
- [Kelly and Bud are shown in the TV studio audience munching on junk food]
- Bink Winkleman: Okay, Lovely Zelda. Would you like to show our ladies what they will be competing for?
- Lovely Zelda: It's this lovely watch.
- [the dim-witted Zelda holds up her right wrist, which has nothing on it, she sees it and holds up her left wrist which has the wristwatch on it]
- Bink Winkleman: You gotta wonder what she would do if it was a lovely hat.
- Roland Squab: Bink, Steve won't let me touch the lovely Zelda.
- Bink Winkleman: Well, then you won't be at the clinic getting a shot.
- Bink Winkleman: Mr. Rhoades, would you like to kiss your wife goodbye?
- Al Bundy: Only if it really was goodbye.
- Bink Winkleman: Lovely Zelda, would you bring out the fat women please?... Now, the idea here is this. Your wives will determine how many of these full-figured women will get to sit on top of you.
- Bink Winkleman: Gentlemen, to your electric chairs.
- Al Bundy: I welcome death.
- Marcy Rhoades: Uh Steve, I didn't know they'd have electric chairs.
- Steve Rhoades: Doesn't matter Marcy. Juice me till I'm ash, they're not getting that car.
- Bink Winkleman: Alright ladies... now, when you're turning up the dials, remember, ease it up or you'll kill them... Now, the one who cranks the most juice into her hubby gets to drive off in that car.
- Bink Winkleman: We have 30 here, 35 here. Do I hear 40?
- Marcy Rhoades: I don't think I can.
- Steve Rhoades: A woman's place is in the home.
- [Marcy cranks it up]
- Bink Winkleman: 80, audience, look at him twitch.