- Bud: Hi, Kel. How'd your audition go?
- Kelly: I'm so mad. Before I even got there to audition, they gave the role to another girl.
- Bud: Oh, yeah, who?
- Kelly: Meryl Streep. I mean what's she got that I don't have.
- Bud: You mean besides the Oscar nominations, the Emmy, the Yale Drama School education and your job?
- Kelly: Yeah.
- Bud: Think carefully, Kel. It starts with "T".
- Kelly: Shuh, I have those!
- Bud: I'm talking about talent, Gump.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Well if you really want to scare them away, an owl will usually do it.
- Al Bundy: An Al? I'M an Al.
- Al Bundy: Marcy, despite your annoying flapping of both lip and wing, I'm glad you're here. I'm having a problem with birds. Perhaps you can speak to them in their native tongue. They're keeping me up.
- Peggy Bundy: Ooh, what's their secret?
- Al Bundy: They look the same as they did in high school.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Remember the story, "The Bundyville Horror"? This is the place. THESE are the people.
- Al Bundy: And this is the church, and this is the steeple.
- Kelly Bundy: In order to get the commercial. I have to learn to shoot a bow & arrow. You know, architecture.
- Bud Bundy: Remember what the guy in the archery store said?
- Kelly Bundy: Jump up and down while I take these pictures?