- Al: I'm tracking down Seven's real parents. Nobody sticks Al Bundy with unwanted kids except his wife.
- Al: Marcy, I'm saying this as a friend. Your body shows no signs of womanhood; it's obvious to me you're barren. And even if by some miracle you laid an egg, and then hatched a child, and tried to breast-feed, the poor kid would starve to death. Because, let's face it Marce, there can't be enough in there for a cup of coffee. So having said that - with love - from one friend to another, I offer you the son you'll never have. Let me go get his clothes.
- [starts to leave]
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Oh, Al, I couldn't possibly accept anything from you. Instead, let me give you something... ten fingers of death!
- [throttles him]
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
- [Jefferson pulls her off]
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: And I have breasts, damn it!
- Al Bundy: Yeah, nothing can ruin Sunday for me.
- [sniffs]
- Al Bundy: Wait a minute, what's that?
- [sniffs around, then turns to Kelly]
- Al Bundy: Open your mouth.
- [Kelly opens her mouth, Al smells her breath]
- Al Bundy: It's an M&M!
- [realizes what this means, then turns to Peg]
- Al Bundy: Oh, God, your family's coming! How much time do I have?
- [doorbell rings]
- Al Bundy: Great Caesar's ghost, they're here! Have you made the preparation?
- Peggy Bundy: Of course.
- Al Bundy: What about the dog?
- Peggy Bundy: He's ready.
- [shot of Buck, wearing a large sign around his neck: "I AM NOT FOR EATING."]
- Kelly Bundy: Shouldn't we have a sign like that?
- Peggy Bundy: [opens the door] Zemus! Ida Mae!
- Zemus: Peggy, you look good enough to eat!
- [he moves to hug her, she smacks him on the forehead]
- Zemus: [moves to hug Kelly] Little cousin...
- Kelly Bundy: [smacks him] No!
- Zemus: [opens his arms] Big boy...
- Bud Bundy: [raising a fist] Don't even dream about it, Zemus.
- Zemus: So where's the dog?
- [Buck is seen holding a rolled-up newspaper in his mouth]
- Peggy Bundy: Seven? Well, why'd you pick that name?
- Zemus: 'Cause we had one, two, three, four, five, seven kids.
- Peggy Bundy: [singing] Hush, little baby, don't you cry, Bud will be gone soon, So kiss him goodbye, And if Bud won't leave on his own...
- [talks]
- Peggy Bundy: I'll throw him out, and then it'll just be me and you.
- Bud Bundy: What am I even doing home? I know I've got the bod. Got the arms, the chest, and even I can't keep my hands off my butt.
- [feels his butt, Peggy comes in and sees him]
- Peggy Bundy: You really should talk to Daddy.
- Kelly Bundy: [about Seven] We'll take him up to Bud's room. Have you ever seen a rubber woman?
- Bud Bundy: Isis is not rubber. She's breathable latex. And she breaks, just like a little girl.
- Peggy Bundy: I just came in to say good night.
- Bud Bundy: Good night.
- Peggy Bundy: [casually] Yeah, thanks.
- [goes over to Seven and tickles him]
- Peggy Bundy: Cooch, cooch, cooch, cooch, my little man!
- Al Bundy: [about Seven's parents] By the way, uh, where are the Kettles?
- Peggy Bundy: Well, right after you left, they went out for cigarettes.
- Al Bundy: [alarmed, covers Seven's ears] And you let them go? That has to be the dumbest move in history! No, the second dumbest. The first dumbest had to be when I answered your phone call the day after we had sex.
- Al Bundy: [about Seven's parents] Peg, you just let these people stick us with their kid! OH, MY GOD! I'VE GOT ANOTHER CHILD!
- Marcy D'Arcy: [after meeting Seven] So where are his parents?
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, they went out for cigarettes.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Oh, the old cigarette ploy. They stuck you with their kid and they're never coming back.
- [Marcy and Jefferson laughs]
- Jefferson D'Arcy: So what are you gonna name this one, Financial Burden III?