- Kelly Bundy: You're embarrassed because people are calling you Mr. Dirty Pants.
- Al Bundy: No, it's Empty Pants.
- Kelly Bundy: Whoa. That would mean a total absence of genitalia.
- Peggy Bundy: Al, can't you handle the fame? I mean, they still call Carroll O'Connor "Archie." They still call that Winky guy "The Fonz." And, you know, they still call the fat girls on The Facts of Life "The Fat Girls on The Facts of Life."