Married... with Children (TV Series)

Naughty But Niece (1994)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Amber walks out the front door and passes Al, who's coming in] 

  Al : Cute girl. What happened? Wrong house?

  Bud : Dad, that was Mrs. Darcy's niece. That was Amber.

  Al : Marcy's niece? Must be from the unfeathered side of the family.

• Bud : I know what I did was wrong and I should be punished.

  Al : Yes you should. But how?

  Kelly : I say we put him in a sack and drop him off the Sears Tower.

  Al : Where the hell am I going to get a sack?

• Bud : [after Amber slips upstairs and gives Bud a seductive look]  Dad, whatever you do, just don't send me to my room. Especially for a whole week. That would kill me.

  Al : [after short pause]  You go to your room. For one week.

  Bud : You're a cruel, but fair man.

  [runs] 

• Bud : I'm sorry about that, Dad. I just haven't slept much 'cause I'm studying for a scholarship. The test is tomorrow and if I ace it, I'll get to study at Oxford. You have heard of Oxford?

  Al : Heard of it? Hell, I've been selling them for years.

• Al : Looking on the bright side, Amber's living right next door, so sooner or later, you'll probably get to see her naked. But whatever you do, don't look at Marcy. I did one time and was clinically dead for an hour and a half.

• Marcy D'Arcy : Guess what! We're going to have a new addition to our family!

  Al : Well, shouldn't you be sitting on it, waiting for it to hatch?

• Al : Whoops! Cheerleader routine up!

  Bud : I'm trying to study, so can you try to keep it down?

  Al : Gotcha!

  [to TV screen:] 

  Al : Cut to the left! Cut to the left! No! Go for the end zone!

  Bud : I thought you were watching cheerleaders.

  Al : I am. Damn cameraman's shooting their faces.