Married... with Children (TV Series)

No Ma'am (1993)

Amanda Bearse: Marcy D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marcy D'Arcy : Now, about your demand to not talk during sex? The only reason we ask you to is so that we know when you're finished.

  Al Bundy : Oh, yeah? Well... You're a chicken!

  [the men cheers] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : And if it's true we spend so little time in the kitchen, then how come you spend so much time in the bathroom?

  Al Bundy : Because... Because... You're a chicken!

• Jerry Springer : [on TV]  Okay, let's take some phone calls now.

  Al Bundy : Well, believe you me, this outrage shall not go unavenged.

  [Al goes over to the phone] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : Now, Al, don't you think women deserve...

  Al Bundy : No!

  Peggy Bundy : Just don't embarrass us, honey.

  Jerry Springer : Is the caller there?

  Al Bundy : Al Bundy here!

  Peggy Bundy , Kelly Bundy , Bud Bundy : Too late.

• Marcy D'Arcy : But what's important is that Jerry helped women finally get a bowling night, which is tonight.

  Bud Bundy : Well, that means some guys lost their bowling night.

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah, I wonder who.

  [the door opens and Al enters after throwing in his shoes and bag] 

  Al Bundy : Hi, honey! I'm home! Why am I early on what used to be my bowling night? Good question. Thank you for asking. Well, as I entered the bowling alley, ready for an exciting night of bonding, brewskies and barfing, what did I see? Women. Bowling. Overhand. So naturally, I went up to one of these donut depositories and said in my nicest voice, Wedge it out the door, beefalo. It's my night to bowl.Well, instead of coming back at me verbally, like I did to them, they took their doughy fists, and they pounded on me until a mutual agreement was reached that I leave. Anyway, when I regained consciousness in a burning trash can, I realized, A: Thursday nights is now ladies night, and B: You don't wanna know how a bum puts out a trash can fire.

• [a furious Marcy enters and confronts Al on TV] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : Al Bundy, you sloth! You toad! You two-toed sloth!

  [to the viewers] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : This is no man. This is Al "Oink, Oink" Bundy. Why the mask, Al? Take it off. Let the world see your snout.