Married... with Children (TV Series)

No Ma'am (1993)

Jerry Springer: Jerry Springer

Photos 

Quotes 

• [on the phone with Jerry Springer] 

  Al Bundy : Now listen here, Jerry. Bowling is a man's sport. If God had wanted women to bowl, he would have put their breasts on their backs so we would have something to watch while waiting our turn.

  Jerry Springer : And where are you calling from, sir? 1952?

  [Marcy laughs at Al] 

  Al Bundy : I wish. Ike was in the White House, women were in the kitchen, and you were in the closet.

  Jerry Springer : And you forgot to mention where you were, sir. I suspect in a zoo someplace throwing your feces at a passing tourist.

  Al Bundy : Once again, I wish.

• Officer Dan : Hey, aren't you Jerry Springer, that masculine feminist?

  Jerry Springer : Yes, I am.

  Officer Dan : Tie him back up!

  Jerry Springer : What the...

  [the police tie Jerry back up] 

  Officer Dan : I hate that guy.

• Jerry Springer : [on TV]  Now we've gotta get the bowling alley to enlarge the size of the women's restroom. And what about mothers who wanna nurse? I propose a lactation lounge.

  Al Bundy : I propose a dairy farmer.

• Jerry Springer : [on TV]  Okay, let's take some phone calls now.

  Al Bundy : Well, believe you me, this outrage shall not go unavenged.

  [Al goes over to the phone] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : Now, Al, don't you think women deserve...

  Al Bundy : No!

  Peggy Bundy : Just don't embarrass us, honey.

  Jerry Springer : Is the caller there?

  Al Bundy : Al Bundy here!

  Peggy Bundy , Kelly Bundy , Bud Bundy : Too late.