- Marcy Rhoades: You, sir, are Satan's toejam! I know what you're up to! Trying to sabotage your own wife! Is there no limit to how low you'll sink?
- Al: Well, I wouldn't kiss you on a bet.
- Kelly Bundy: Well, it's gonna be a long evening, Mom. Want me to order a couple of beers?... for you and, uh, some ice cream with gummy bears for me?