- [Kelly presents the weather forecast on channel 89]
- Kelly: Winds are up to 30 moofs
- TV producer: That's miles per hour, you idiot!
- Kelly: [Kelly is talking about her internship] You know, they're not as nice as they seem on television. Like today, when I, like the rest of the nation, was wondering where East Dakota was, the weatherman told the manager that either I went or he went.
- Marcy: Oh well, losing your first job isn't so bad.
- Kelly: Me? They canned him like a tuna.
- Al: [When paying the bills] Oh man we're broke, cha cha cha Everybody flat broke, cha cha cha/Living in the gutter, cha cha cha/Early grave, cha cha cha/All right now, everybody - shoot me.
- Marcy: To hell with the weather, give me the poop on Palomino. Boy, there's one warm front I wouldn't mind settling over me for a few days.
- Bud: Now, you see this crack between the stove and the wall? Every now and then I'll find, say, a fuzzy M&M. Now, you just peel the protective coating, and you've got a nice little dose of simple carbohydrates. And don't throw away that colorful shell. Makes a hearty base for soup.
- Al: Well, I'll get the hanger and a little piece of gum and a-hunting we will go!