Married... with Children (TV Series)
Requiem for a Chevyweight: Part 1 (1996)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Al : [the Dodge backfires twice and the heart monitor flatlines] No, no, don't leave me now!... I hope you're happy, Peg. She's gone. Her oil is on your hands!
Peggy Bundy : Her oil is all over town.
Al : [Closes the hood] Drive towards the light, old friend. Drive towards the light.
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[in a flashback to the late 1960s, a teenage Al and Peggy have just has sex in Al's Dodge at a drive-in theater]
Peggy Bundy : Wow, Al. You were great! You're better and last longer then the whole football team combined. Uh... not that I speak from experience. But you scored four touchdowns today. Four in one game. That's never been done before! You single handingly won Polk High's Championship Football game.
Al : Oh, Peg, it's no big deal. I mean, it's not like it's going to be the highlight of my life or anything.
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[a flashback to 1974 shows a three-year-old Kelly riding in the back seat of the Dodge with infant Bud in a childs seat with Al and Peggy in the front seats]
Young Kelly : Eww! Mommy, Daddy, Bud's touching himself!
Peggy Bundy : She's right, Al.
Al : Let him be, Kelly. That's just a phase he's going through. He'll grow out of it.
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Peggy Bundy : [in 1974 flashback] Al, you shouldn't ignore Kelly. I was watching Phil Donahue yesterday and he said that if a father ignores his daughter, she could develop an abnormal craving for male attention.
Al : Phil Donahue is full of crap! He doesn't know what things a family thinks or goes through. Just like your idea about "home shopping" where a woman can order anything over the telephone without leaving the house. It'll never work...
Peggy Bundy : Al, look out!
[Al swerves his car and hits another car off-screen]
Al : Damn Japanese cars! They'll never catch on.
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Dr. Fisher : I'm Dr. Fisher, the specialist.
Al : Oh, thank God you're here, doctor!
Peggy Bundy : Doctor?
Dr. Fisher : Yes ma'am, Doctor of Automotive Engineering, Quaker State.
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Dr. Fisher : You should realize that these parts are worth a lot of money.
Peggy Bundy : Be reasonable, Al. There are lots of other Dodges out there suffering.
Dr. Fisher : Mr. Bundy, I know this is difficult, but we should harvest these parts now while they're still lubricated.
Al : Are you nuts? You're not a doctor, you're a butcher! Get out of here, you Jiffy Lube reject!
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Al : Kelly, try to start the car!
[the car doesn't start and the heart monitor flatlines]
Al : Bud, cables!
[uses the jumper cables as a defibrilllator]
Al : Clear!
Bud : Nothing, Dad.
Al : Again! Clear!
[Heart monitor stops]
Al : Damn!
Bud : Nothing. Maybe we should call it, Dad.
Al : Bud, we can't. I'm gonna oper her up.
Bud : Open-gasket massage?
Al : I know it's a risk, but we have no other choice.
Bud : Dad, you've never done it before.
Al : I know, I know, but I observed it once at Pep Boys.
