Married... with Children (TV Series)

Rites of Passage (1992)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Where the music stinks and they water the drinks. The nudie bar. Where the girlies dance in their underpants. The nudie bar. Where you see their butt and their trap stays shut. The nudie bar.

• Al : Remember: A man is a man for all of his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes his wife.

• Bud Bundy : This place sucks when you're broke.

  Al Bundy : What place doesn't suck when you're broke?

• Al : Where you can look at a thigh and blacken an eye, at the Nudie Bar. Where the beer gives you gas but the Bundys kick ass... at the Nudie Bar.

• Bud Bundy : What are we going to tell Mom where were all night?

  Al Bundy : Well, son, you're a man know. When your mother asks you where you were, you do what your supposed to do. You look her right in the eye and tell her were were stuck in traffic.

• Al : Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass... the nudie bar.

• Al Bundy : Well I chalked up some more frequent loser miles today. The Department of Juvenile Corrections bused some delinquents over to the shoe store today to show them why it's so important to stay in school. The guards made them watch me work for over 3 hours until even the most hardened punk was crying like a baby. It's a new program called "Scared Rich". If only they had a "Scared Single" when I was a punk.

• Al : You know? It does get kind of boring around her.

  Bud : Then why do you come?

  Al : [after another strip club patrion elbows Al in the back in the head]  For this... Excuse me sir? You bumped into me and I think you owe me an appology.

  Strip Club Patron : Drop dead.

  [Al punches the other bar patron out and the entire strip club errupts into a bar fight] 

• Al Bundy : 18 years old and you're first bar fight like every other bundy before you I'm proud of you son.