Married... with Children (TV Series)
Scared Single (1993)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Al Bundy : Peg. Bud. Man, do I have good news!
Peggy Bundy : Al, aren't you forgetting someone?
[a delirious Kelly sits quietly on the couch]
Al Bundy : Aw, Peg! She's nuts!
Peggy Bundy : Nuts or not, she is still our daughter.
Al Bundy : Oh, all right, Peg!
[to Kelly]
Al Bundy : Hi, Pumpkin.
[Kelly doesn't answer]
Al Bundy : Isn't that cute? I used to call her Pumpkin, now she is one.
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Men at the mall lounge : [singing] My wife will never cook or clean/ Still my money's spent/ Who knew when I first chose my mate/ That she would put on *that* much weight/ More sex we'd like for sure/ If it only weren't with her/ Please K-I-L-L K-I-L-L me me me.
Al Bundy : That's the marryin' man's fight song, son. Well, that and Taps.
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Al : I've seen her from the front, I've seen her from the back. / I've seen her in a chair, I've seen her in a sack. / I've seen her stand, I've seen her crouch. / I've seen her on her stupid couch. / I do not like her in the mall, I do not like her in the hall. / I do not like her in my life, I do not like my big red wife.
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[Al comes home from work and sits beside Peggy sitting on the living room couch watching TV as usual]
Al : Hi, Peg.
[to the TV set]
Al : Hi, Oprah.
[to Peggy]
Al : You know, Peg, I made a mistake. This morning, before I left here, I thought that all women were totally useless. Now I realize it was just you. I thought that all men were destined to marry the worst possible mate, but now I realize it was just me.
Peggy Bundy : Oh, hi Al. I didn't hear you. I was watching Oprah.
Al : That's alright, Peg. I was talking to Oprah. But you know what I'm going to do now, Peg? I'm going to live the life I should've had, vicariously through Aaron. I'm going to live my sports life through him. I'm going to have dinner through him. And, if he'll let me, I'm even going to have sex through him.
Peggy Bundy : Oh, hi Al. I didn't hear you. I was watching Oprah.
Al : If only Oprah were on when I said "I do".
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Peggy Bundy : Al, there's something strange on your face.
Al : It's called smile, Peg. But don't worry. I'm not taking it home with me.
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Al , Aaron : [singing the Polk High anthem] Oh, Polk you're the best of the schools/ for you will always cheer/ By day we learn to read and write/ By night our team will fight fight fight/ No matter were we are/ we'll always give a ho-rah!/ For P-O-L-K P-O-L-K Polk Polk Polk!
Aaron : Hi! Aaron Mitchell, class of '93.
Al : Al Bundy, all class all the time.