Married... with Children (TV Series)

Sixteen Years and What Do You Get (1987)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marcy Rhoades : Here, we got you two one of our favorite books.

  Al : 'My Partner, My Wife, My Life.' My gun!

• Peggy : So where's my anniversary gift?

  Al : Oh, um, it's out in the car. I'll get it.

  [Goes out to the garage, tries to start the car, then comes back inside] 

  Al : Happy anniversary.

  Peggy : A can of motor oil?

  Al : 40 weight, and a road flare. Bless our happy home.

• Al : I'm going to take my tools, which I paid for, and celebrate in the garage which I'm still paying for.

• Al : What's that?

  Mr. Conner : It's an anniversary present for my wife.

  Al : How many years have you been married?

  Mr. Conner : One.

  Al : [chuckles]  Well, that explains it. You're older then I am, but new to the married game. So, let me help you out. You see, the first thing I learned on my 16 year tour of duty is that women live for presents. Now you take the most ornery woman in the world. We'll call her... Peggy. If you bring a crappy present home, like that picture frame, and your life will be a living hell.

  Mr. Conner : But my wife and I agreed that we wouldn't spend too much on our anniversary. We decided to save our money on more important things.

  Al : There is no more important thing then your anniversary. An anniversary is something special. It's not like other holidays when other people are celebrating too. It's just between the two of you. It's a day when you show her how you feel out of the rest of the year. But you don't. Because you're a man.

  Mr. Conner : Wow. That's beautiful. I never knew that.

  Al : To know me is to love me.