Married... with Children (TV Series)

Sleepless in Chicago (1994)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Quotes 

• Jefferson : I got a big problem, Al. Marcy hasn't let go of that Barbie doll since I gave it to her. I need you to do me a little favor.

  [Al pulls a "Big 'Uns" from under the couch] 

  Al : Can I do it while I'm reading the magazine?

  Jefferson : You know, that magazine still belongs to me until you've paid me for it.

  Al : What is the favor?

  Jefferson : I need you to sleep with Marcy.

  [Al reacts by slapping Jefferson' arm with the magazine] 

  Jefferson : I don't mean "sleep" with her. Just lie next to her so I can have enough time to switch that Barbie with the regular Nurse Barbie. That 'Barbie-phile' we saw at the auction will give me $50,000 and the substitute. It'll just take an hour 'til I make the trade. How about it?

  Al : But, Jefferson, Peg might wake up and notice me gone, and then it might ruin an otherwise... sickening marriage.

• [after finding out that the Barbie doll Jefferson got for Marcy is worth $50,000] 

  Al : Jefferson, $50,000. Well, what are we going to do?

  Jefferson : *We*...

  [takes the doll from Al] 

  Jefferson : say 'goodbye' to you, and catch a plane to Aruba.

• Jefferson : [dolls worth $50 000]  I can't give Belly-Button Barbie to Marcy. She's more valuable than she is!