Married... with Children (TV Series)
Something Larry This Way Comes (1995)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Gary : I did not amass my considerable personal fortune by giving up. I am determined to turn this place around and I'll tell you why. Years ago, in my first business venture I went with what I thought was the sure thing. But it turned out that my partner was a shyster. I lost my shirt!
Griff : You still had your bra, didn't you?
Al Bundy : Shut up!
Gary : From that day forward, I vowed two things: One, that I would never again have a failing business venture. And two, I would exact my revenge from the guy that ripped me off.
Griff : Uh, what kind of business was it?
Gary : The Larry Storch School of Heating and Air Conditioning Repair.
[Larry Storch enters with Bud]
Larry Storch : Larry Storch is in the house!
Al Bundy : Hit the deck!
[Gary punches Larry Storch, knocking him out, and leaves]
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[Gary is counting the money in the cash register at the shoe store]
Gary : So, this is really today's take?
Griff : Actually, ma'am, that's yesterday's take. We were gonna bring it to the bank, but they have a 50 cent minimum deposit.
Al Bundy : [holds out his hand] Luckily, we haven't taken our commission out yet.
[Gary angrily glares at both of them]
Al Bundy : Which, of course, we're going to plough right back into the business.
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Al Bundy : Now, Peg, since you were the one who badgered me to ask Gary about the raise, let's hear some of your ideas to keep the cash flow coming into the house.
[Peggy is silent, unable to think of anything]
Al Bundy : Duh? Well, I'll take that under advisement. But, as usual, I have a plan.
Bud Bundy : Good. Just as long as it's not one of those stupid Midnight Madness sales. You know, where the employees dress up in those ridiculous costumes that have nothing to do with what they're selling.
[Al lowers his head in shame while Peggy laughs]
Peggy Bundy : Oh! Bud, your father would never do something stupid like that. So, Al, what's your idea?
[Al angrily looks at Peggy and Bud]
Al Bundy : I'm not telling ya!
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Al Bundy : [about Larry Storch] Everybody's favorite corporal? Coming here to my least favorite place? Oh, finally the rewards of a righteous life!
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Peggy Bundy : What is the big fuss about this Corporal Eggroll guy?
Al Bundy : Corporal Agarn, you blasphemous heathen! See, you don't understand the genius of the man. See, in F Troop, when one of the idiots in his regiment would make him mad, he'd go walking over to him, like only he could walk, and give him a good whack on the head with his hat! You just don't see that anymore.
Peggy Bundy : There's a lot of things I don't see anymore.
Al Bundy : Especially if they're more than 100 feet from the couch.
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Al Bundy : [about Larry Storch] When's he coming?
Kelly Bundy : Next Tuesday night.
Al Bundy : Gadzooks! That's the same time as my Midnight Madness shoe sale.
[Bud and Peggy stare at Al]
Al Bundy : That's, uh, if... if I was having one.
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Al Bundy : [on the phone] Hello?
Peggy Bundy : Al, it's me. Uh, Larry from G Spot is here.
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Al Bundy : Griff, the Agarn has landed. I gotta get home.
Griff : But what if we get a customer?
Al Bundy : Well, don't be silly. Who's gonna come in here? We're dressed like wolves. No one is gonna stop me from meeting my TV hero.
[Griff notices Gary behind Al, entering the store]
Griff : Uh, Al, uh, Gary.
Al Bundy : Gary's not gonna keep me from meeting him either. See, you know what your trouble is? You're afraid of the boss. Yeah, just because Gary's built like a man... it doesn't mean she can hit like one. Let her come in here and sell shoes! I'm awoo-o-out of here!
[Al turns around and sees Gary]
Al Bundy : [grovels] Please don't fire me.
