Married... with Children (TV Series)

Sue Casa, His Casa (1990)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : [on the phone]  Hello, Jim's Fish, Chips & Insurance? This is Al Bundy. Yeah, I'm fine. Jim, I want to ask how much would it cost to add my son to my auto insurance plan? How old? Let me see... Bud, how old are you?

  Bud : Sixteen, Dad.

  Al : [into the phone]  He's sixteen.

  [pause] 

  Al : What? If you think I'm gonna pay that much, you're as stupid as those cats you trap and call tuna!

  [pause] 

  Al : You know, when you insult my wife, Jim, you don't hurt me.

  Peggy : Well, what'd he say about me, Al?

  Al : Nothing I haven't said myself!

  [into the phone] 

  Al : Seriously Jim, I need to ask, is this the best you can do for a lifetime friend and someone who did not tell the police and the local health board what your catch of the day really was?

  [pause] 

  Al : Oh, well if you want to be that way, you can take your insurance and stuff it! All of it!

  [hangs up] 

  Al : There! Al Bundy takes guff from no one!

  Bud , Peggy , Kelly : Cheap, cheap, cheap!

  Peggy : Al, aren't you worried about being uninsured?

  Al : Peg, we don't need insurance. Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay, and never get anything back! Besides, the car isn't worth more than 100 bucks with both kids in it.

• [Bud and Kelly watch TV. Suddenly Bud hits Kelly on the side of her head, for no apparent reason. Kelly glares at him] 

  Bud Bundy : Fly.

  [Kelly smiles, then punches Bud in the stomach in return. Bud doubles over painfully] 

  Kelly Bundy : Tapeworm.

• Peggy Bundy : You were worried about Kelly driving, and in the past year, she's only gotten 2 or 3 tickets.

  Kelly Bundy : And it would have been 4 if I hadn't outran those last cops. Yep, they were fast enough to keep up with me going the wrong way on the expressway, but when it came time to jump that drawbridge, they just didn't have the guts.

• Al : [sarcastically]  Oh no, that's my pleasure Peg, even though my rates will skyrocket

  [to Kelly] 

  Al : because you're underage and I'm paying a special rate for

  [glances at Peg] 

  Al : the bumper-car queen over here...

  Kelly : [smiling emotionally]  Well, I know why you don't want me to drive and it's not the insurance. Your little girl is growing up and you can't bear to let her go, huh?

  [Kelly wraps her arms around Al] 

  Al : No, it's the insurance.