Married... with Children (TV Series)

The Computer Show (1989)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Now, we're not getting a computer. Computers are ruining the country. Computers and women.

  Peggy : Yes, and they're quite similar, Al, because you don't know how to turn on either one.

  Al : I'm not interested in either one.

• Al : [sitting on the couch, petting Buck]  You know, I just realized that we got someone in this house that eats, lies around all day and does absolutely nothing.

  Peggy : Aw, Buck is cute.

  Al : I was talking about you, Peg.

• Al : Much like a family, what would a computer do for me?

  Marcy : It could do all sorts of things. Like keeping up with sports scores.

  Al : Newspaper.

  Steve : Social events.

  Al : TV Guide.

  Marcy : Organizing recipes.

  Al : [Placing arm around Peg]  Don't eat.

  Steve : Doctor's appointments.

  Al : Don't care.

• Steve : Al, did you know that your dog is burying himself in your backyard?

  Al : Well I hope it's not the spot by the hose because that little plot's for me.

• Kelly Bundy : Call 'who' Ishmael?

  Al : Ah, me. Look, Kelly, we have a million dollar computer sitting over here, why don't you do your report on it?

  Kelly Bundy : I tried. I turned it on and I typed in "Ishmael". You know what it said to me, Dad? Ishmael. It even spelled it wrong.

• Al : This computer cost me a fortune. Now, I don't plan to watch our money go down the drain like I did with the stove and the refrigerator and our marriage certificate. Now as I slowly sink into bankrupcy, I want to have a memory. So, I want you to do something - ANYTHING - with that computer.

  Peggy : [scene flips. The computer now sits on a desk of its own and is accompanied by a printer and a phone]  There. You happy, Al?

  Al : [sarcastically]  Yeah, couldn't be happier.

• Peggy : I didn't marry a happy man.

  Al : No, you did, Peg. You just turned him into me.

• Steve : Welcome to Tomorrowland, Al, where do you want it?

  Al : How about over here in It's a Broke World Afterall.

• Computer : Al?... Al?

  Al : Leave me alone.

  Computer : Okay, I'll just sit here and run your electricity bill through the roof.

• Al Bundy : [Buck is bringing Al's slippers down the stairs]  Finally, someone who knows who the real master of this house is.

  [Buck walks past Al and gives the slippers to the computer] 

• Kelly Bundy : Dad, I've got this book report due in um, oh God, what do you call it? The subject with the words?

  Al Bundy : English?

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah