Married... with Children (TV Series)
The Joke's on Al (1996)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Jefferson D'Arcy : Congratulations. What are you gonna do with all the money?
Al Bundy : I'm gonna quit my job, burn down this house, and live out my days on Hooter Island.
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Kelly Bundy : Dad, Guess who's in prison.
Al Bundy : Unless it's Pauly Shore, I do not care.
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Gary Coleman : [as a reverend] For the 37th time, Bundy, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Al Bundy : For the 37th, 8th, and 9th times: No, no, no.
Peggy Bundy : Come on, Al. It's not like we're really getting married. We're just renewing our vows. Besides, Dad's got you covered.
[Al turns around and sees Ephraim holding a flask and pointing a rifle at him]
Al Bundy : Just like old times, eh, Ephraim?
Ephraim Wanker : Only this time the gun is loaded. And so am I!
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Gary Coleman : Al, do you take June to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Al Bundy : [looks at Jefferson] What do you want me to say, Jefferson? You want me to say you're king? I wont say it! I'm not gonna say it! Admit that this is your little joke.
Jefferson D'Arcy : [smugly] It's not
[he hears a car pull up outside and goes to the door]
Jefferson D'Arcy : *This* is my joke
[he opens the door and Peggy appears]
Peggy Bundy : Hi Al!
[Kelly and Bud cry "Mom!" and go to embrace her]
Al Bundy : [to the Reverend] I do!
Gary Coleman : [indicating Peg] Who is this woman?
Al Bundy : She nobody. Just my wife.
[to Bud]
Al Bundy : Hurry up with the ring, boy!
Peggy Bundy : What is going on here?
Al Bundy : Well, Peg it all started with ten pizzas...
Peggy Bundy : Shut up, Al!