Married... with Children (TV Series)

The Legend of Ironhead Haynes (1994)

Christopher Collins: Roger

Quotes 

• Roger : Al, this legend of Ironhead Haynes could be as phony as your wife's hair color.

  Al : Or it could be real like your wife's hair color, Roger. I know it's real, because it matches her moustache!

• Al : What we need to do is find someone who can tell us how to fight this insanity.

  Roger : That's right. We need a man's man.

  Bob Rooney : Someone who always calls his own shots.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : A leader to lead us through the 90's.

  Officer Dan : A man among men.

  Bob Rooney , Roger , Barney , Officer Dan : Ironhead Haynes!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Who's Ironhead Haynes?

  Al : The gruffest, toughest man to ever graduate from Polk High.

  Roger : He had a beard in the 7th Grade, and a wife.

  Officer Dan : Took out his own appendix with a Pocket Fisherman's knife.

  Al : He could have been a great football player for Polk High. But he refused to take off his spurs.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : We wore cowboy boots while playing football?

  Al : No boots. Just spurs.