Married... with Children (TV Series)

The Naked and the Dead, But Mostly the Naked (1995)

Barry Shabaka Henley: Charlie

Quotes 

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Did you see the headlights on that last stripper?

  Al Bundy : How about the taillights on the one with the tattoos.

  Charlie : No no no, those weren't tattoos. Those were my fingerprints.

• Al Bundy : Here's the plan. We are only going to take our wives there on Thursdays.

  Charlie : But Al, Thursday night is our bowling night.

  Al Bundy : That's right. And why do we always go bowling on Thursday night? Because at the Jiggly Room, Thursday night is always...

  Bob Rooney : A-cup night!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : There's not a single Dr. Yummy in the whole house!

  Al Bundy : Hence, we won't get excited.

  Bob Rooney : But what if we do?

  Al Bundy : Well, try to imagine Jefferson's wife up on stage with no clothes on.

  Bob Rooney : What if that doesn't work?

  Al Bundy : Then try to imagine Jefferson himself up on stage with no clothes on.

  Ike : What if that doesn't work?

  [everyone stares oddly at Ike] 

  Al Bundy : Then you're out of the club.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Wow! Did you see the headlights on that last stripper?

  [much laughter] 

  Al Bundy : How about the taillights on that one with the tattoos?

  Charlie : Those weren't tattoos. They were my fingerprints!