Married... with Children (TV Series)

The Undergraduate (1995)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kelly : What's the big deal? Lots of attractive starlets go out with younger guys. To name a few: Cher... Madonna... Liberace...

• Robby Bennett : The Bennett family motto is "we see it, we want it, we get it."

  Kelly : Well, the Bundy family motto is "it sees us, insults us, we kick its ass."

  Robby Bennett : Do you know who my dad is?

  Kelly : Sure, your father.

• Kelly : As the Chinese philosopher Unconscious once said: "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never seen 'Lost in Space' at all."

• Robby : You know, Kelly, I have a birthday party for when I turn 13 this summer. I think you'd look pretty hot in a swimsuit. I think I just might keep you.

  Kelly : Look, Macaulay, this is America. And nobody owns anybody in America. Except for maybe that guy who's married to Anna Nicole Smith.

• Kelly : Bud, you've got to help me!

  Bud Bundy : Hey, I would like to, but you fired me. And I only took this gig to make ends meet.

  Kelly : OK, OK, your un-fired. Now just get me out of this. Play something fast.

  Bud Bundy : OK, but I want 80 percent and... and I want a photo of you and Robby together.

  Kelly : Why?

  Bud Bundy : In case someday I want 90 percent.

• Kelly : Guess what my secret admirer brought for me today. Twelve long-stemmed roses.

  Peggy : Al, how come you never send me roses?

  Al : I don't like you, Peg.

  Kelly : Anyway, Mom, I was at my audition for Easy-Off jeans. You know, the jeans so tight that you're the only one who knows you're wearing pants? Now this is a *nationwide* commercial. I mean, all thirteen colonies. And actually, I was really nervous. Then all of a sudden the delivery guy brings me these flowers.

• Kelly : Excuse me, Opie.

  Robby : Robby.

• Kelly : [as her date arrives, time to meet her secret admirer]  I've never been this nervous. I'm on the edge of my feet!

• Kelly : [as Bud taunts her re her grade-school date]  Get away from me, demon seed!

• Kelly : [re her schoolboy date]  Mom, Dad, what am I gonna do?

  Al : Well, charm him, and then conveniently forget to sign the prenup.

  Kelly : Mom...?

  Peggy : Well... He's kinda cute.

  Kelly : He's a *fetus!*

• Kelly : Look, Bud, I'm a woman. And we felines have a way of picking the right guy. That's why nobody's picked you.

• Kelly : [to Bud, who admits to having stalked]  Budkenstein, first of all, following your hand to the bed is not a considered stalking.

• Kelly : [pries Bud away from mocking her schoolboy date]  Get over here, dung-beetle! What am I gonna do?

  Bud Bundy : Just answer me three questions, all right? Number one, how funny is this? Two, who the man? And three, how funny is this?

  Kelly : Somehow, some way, I will get you for this.

• Kelly : It's only a junior prom. I can do it with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.

  Bud Bundy : It's sort of like one of your real dates then, hey?

  Kelly : You're fired!