Married... with Children (TV Series)

User Friendly (1995)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [watching Bud perform in a virtual reality sex experiment] 

  Sandy : Oh, I recognize this. It's foreplay.

  Dr. Kessler : Either that or he has a spastic colon.

  Bud Bundy : Oh, baby, what you do.

  Dr. Kessler : Yeah, it's his colon.

  Sandy : Let's get a second opinion.

  [to a nearby janitor] 

  Sandy : Hey, Bruno. What does this look like to you?

  Bruno : Looks like I'm gonna need a bigger mop.

• Bud Bundy : Uh, look, Dr. Kessler, I don't mean to doubt your little, uh... Your little pleasure pouch here, but, see, you're dealing with a guy who's had the real thing more times than there are stars in the sky.

  Dr. Kessler : There are more than four stars in the sky, Mr. Bundy.

• Bud Bundy : Look Amber, I DO respect your mind. I'd just respect it even more if it would bounce gently when you walk.

• Bud Bundy : Look, Kelly, I don't need Amber, okay? I have her. Dr. Kessler introduced me to cybersex and I can create Amber any time I want.

  Kelly Bundy : But she's not the real Amber.

  Bud Bundy : Oh, oh, she's better. She does what I want, whenever I want it. You see, Kel, this is the breakthrough that men have been waiting for since the beginning of time. You know what? It looks like you and your cross-legged, "let's talk," gift-expecting, ordering-the-most-expensive-thing-on-the-menu, "what about me?" bimbo sapiens are about to be made obsolete.

• Bud Bundy : Kelly, guess what? I've been chosen to do a research project on human behavior.

  Kelly Bundy : So, where do you fit in?

  Bud Bundy : Well, unlike you, in the front seat of a car. That's another story. The point is they're paying me three hundred bucks. Which should earn me first class passage on the old Amber Airline.

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah, like she's really knocking down the door to see you after your little movie theater popcorn trick.

  Amber : [at the door]  Hi, Bud.

  [walks in] 

  Amber : Hi, Kelly.

  Kelly Bundy : Hi, Amber, what's up?

  Amber : Your Mom needs her TV Guide. She says it's in the room of broken promises.

  Kelly Bundy : Oh, that would be in her bedroom. Okay.

  [goes off to fetch]