Married... with Children (TV Series)

User Friendly (1995)

JD Cullum: Dr. Kessler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Kessler : My goal is to prove that the human male's psycho-sexual needs can be fully satisfied with my machine, thereby eliminating the embarrassment of rejection.

  Kelly Bundy : Do you really think that you can make *this* obsolete?

  [takes off her lab coat, wears little black dress underneath] 

  Kelly Bundy : Do you care to discuss this over a moonlit stroll?

  [the Doctor is only too keen] 

• [watching Bud perform in a virtual reality sex experiment] 

  Sandy : Oh, I recognize this. It's foreplay.

  Dr. Kessler : Either that or he has a spastic colon.

  Bud Bundy : Oh, baby, what you do.

  Dr. Kessler : Yeah, it's his colon.

  Sandy : Let's get a second opinion.

  [to a nearby janitor] 

  Sandy : Hey, Bruno. What does this look like to you?

  Bruno : Looks like I'm gonna need a bigger mop.

• Bud Bundy : Uh, look, Dr. Kessler, I don't mean to doubt your little, uh... Your little pleasure pouch here, but, see, you're dealing with a guy who's had the real thing more times than there are stars in the sky.

  Dr. Kessler : There are more than four stars in the sky, Mr. Bundy.