Married... with Children (TV Series)

What Goes Around Came Around (1990)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Kelly shows Bud that Heather is conning him by asking a guy for his watch and then discarding it] 

  Kelly Bundy : The prostitution rests.

• Heather McCoy : Hi, Bud. Are we sill on for the dance Friday night?

  Bud Bundy : I shall drink in your beauty, as the bee does the nectar of the flower.

  Heather McCoy : [to Kelly]  Isn't he a dream.

  Kelly Bundy : [watching Heather walk off]  How did you do that?

  Bud Bundy : Research. I've been studying her since the sixth grade... plotting, planning, cataloging her likes and dislikes. And now, the time is right to strike for I'm at the zenith of my studliness. Five long years, and now finally she's mine.

  Kelly Bundy : You still love her, huh?

  Bud Bundy : Nope. I'm after revenge. Sweet, pure, uncut revenge.

  Kelly Bundy : What's the point? That was five years ago. No one remembers your underwear hanging from a flagpole.

  [Two other guys stop when they see Bud, and hold up their hands, reciting a mock Pledge Of Allegiance] 

  Guy #1 , Guy #2 : I pledge allegiance to the underwear of the United Shorts of Bud Bundy.

  [Falling over themselves laughing, they walk off] 

  Bud Bundy : Yeah, no one except the seventy-five kids who do that to me every day. That's why I'm gonna get Heather McCoy. Phase One is now complete.

  Kelly Bundy : What's Phase Two? You touch her on the knee and then start to cry?

  Bud Bundy : Not quite, O-she-whose-head-can-never-be-seen-in-a-car.

• Kelly : Bud, don't be a sucker all your life. Let me tell you the difference between men and women: we're liars and you're all idiots.

• Kelly Bundy : So gnome, everyone's going to be at the homecoming dance this Friday night. Where are you gonna be?

  Bud Bundy : I'll be there... with a date.

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah, right. Who's gonna be the girl this year? You or Joey?

  Bud Bundy : Ho-ho, one-over-easy. I got me a hot date. Heather McCoy.

  Kelly Bundy : Heather McCoy? The one you had a crush on in the sixth grade? The one who took you skinny dipping, stole all your clothes and ran your underwear up a flagpole? Bud, why don't you just go out with someone who likes you? Oh, I sorry. Buck has outgrown his party dress.

  Bud Bundy : That's a good one, human trampoline.

• [last lines] 

  [Heather has humiliated Bud with the exact same trick again] 

  Kelly Bundy : Heather and I had a long talk, we worked things out like ladies.

  [cut to the hallway of Polk High: Heather is gagged and bound to a bank of lockers, completely naked except for two things: a sign around her neck reading "DON'T MESS WITH A BUNDY" and a towel, which is attached to a rope being held in Buck's jaws] 

  Kelly Bundy : Buck! Come here, boy! That's it, good boy!

  [Kelly walks off; Buck runs after her, trailing the rope and towel, just as the bell rings and students come flooding out of the classrooms]