Married... with Children (TV Series)
You Better Watch Out (1987)
Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Coroner : Well, that about wraps it up out there. I just have a few routine questions for my report if you don't mind. Did any of you know the diseased?
Peggy : Well, I read about him in books. But in books, he's usually going up instead of down.
Coroner : Okay, so that's a "no." Did anyone actually see him fall and hit the ground?
Bud : I wish.
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Marcy : [after a sky-diving department store Santa splattered all over the Bundys' back yard, while Steve and Marcy were over, the coroners are clearing up outside; inside, Steve is pouring a large drink, while Marcy is babbling, and both are shaking] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...
[Al, Peg, Kelly and Bud are all eating pizza]
Al : Hey Peg, you know what we ought to do tomorrow? We oughta make some Christmas cookies.
Peggy : Oh yeah, and maybe some eggnog, with nutmeg.
Bud : Mmm!
Steve Rhoades : You ghouls! Don't you understand, there's a splattered Santa all over your yard!
Al : What do you want me to do Steve? Quit eating?
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Marcy : Santa's gone. I'll never be able to enjoy Christmas again.
Kelly : Well, you're in the right place.
Peggy : Come on Marcy, these things happen.
Marcy : WHEN has this ever happened? A guy dressed as Santa Claus goes skydiving, his parachue doesn't open, and he lands right in your back yard?
Peggy : Cheer up. It could have been worse. He could have landed on the picket fence.
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Peggy : Al, get rid of those kids.
Al : If I knew how to do that we wouldn't have ours.
[Al opens the door and announces to the kids]
Al : Okay everybody, boys and girls, and you Tony, Santa's okay. Now he just had a little bit of Mrs. Bundy's cooking and he's in the bathroom bent over, but he's going to be fine, so go home.
Kid : We wanna see him!
Al : No!
[the kids throw snowballs at al]
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Al : Peg, I'm ashamed of you.
Peggy : I know.
Al : Peg! If you keep shopping at that new mall, we'll be broke and living in a cardboard box under the 'L'!
Peggy : Not me. I can always divorce you and remarry.
Bud : And me and Kelly will be living in a foster home.
Kelly : Let's go shopping. Put Dad in a early grave!
Al : Uh, family before you go, would you get old Daddy's shotgun and stand close together?
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Peggy : You know what you have to do, Al...
[Al dresses up as Santa Claus to placate the kids]